Putting on a brave face

I think, generally, that we all try and put on a brave face, but then it can all get too much as well. We want to be positive as positivity is good for us and our soul! But so too is honesty and the vast number of people who are suffering throughout the three lockdowns we have had is immense. There are things that we all might rather not talk about or share but tuck the issue away and just continue with life.

I have a priest friend whose husband died some months ago and who in her grief has really frightened herself about how she has behaved. She is in floods of uncontrollable tears often and maintains a face of normality when her husband isn't mentioned or referred to at any time. She is struggling beyond and worse than her constant visits to the grave multiple times a day, is that she feels personal shame, for behaving like this.

The number of people here in our Ministry Area who are struggling because of lockdown is vast and some will hide it all behind a veil of normality, others will take it out in a great variety of ways. They might feel shame, sadness or confusion that they cannot behave as they would normally and that everything is just too much.

There is no one type of person who will suffer more and it affects all young, retired, rich and poor, clergy, doctors and cleaners, black and white etc. This week we have heard about the Meghan and Harry saga and some have felt relief that they spoke their minds, others that the Royal family still have much to learn. There is no doubt blame for poor behaviour on both sides and that everything, because of the global pandemic, is intensified.

The answer though is for everyone to make time to listen to others, to hear their concerns to be a good friend - not always having to agree with them, but just being there for them. The same is true the other way round too. Are there other practical things that we might share in? In St Athan a young man with Autism has, through his outburst in lockdown and deteriorating behaviour, and with the help of his father, set up a delivery service from the local shops. The spin off is that the community is delighted, he is now collecting bikes and clothes for distribution and he is calmer and well behaved having dealt with his pent up feelings.

This is hugely positive and we can all be involved in doing something to support others, to listen to them, to be inspirational in little tiny ways. Yet to achieve this we need to see in us all, that we are marked by this past year of sufferings in one way or another, but by being honest, sharing, listening, helping practically and acknowledging God in the midst of everything. We all can move forward in hope and positivity.