Penny for your thoughts?

I have just taken a call from a friend who was telling me about her new priest and how, having not met her yet because of Covid, an initial phone call in which she sounded gruff and abrasive, left my friend feeling cold. Strange! I am sure, when face to face all will seem different.

It did remind me though of a little girl visiting my mother in her Virginia creeper covered front porch. the little child, Frances said "your house has hair on it." It looked like hair to Frances who was about three at the time and didn't have the language or knowledge to talk about the creeper.

How we see things is quite amazing and moreover our initial thoughts can change as we get to know people and things. Frances for example never again mentioned the hair on the house, but the creeper which she loved especially with its Autumn reds. In the same way I am sure the new priest won't appear gruff or abrasive as she settles down and the parishioners get to know her better.

We do all make snap judgements, which can be far from accurate. It is a natural human response. I recall from school days being afraid of a senior English teacher, who seemed to snap most of her time, and frequently at me, for leaving my apple in my bag, so I was always in trouble! When I went into this teacher's class mid-way through secondary schooling, I was terrified, but discovered an excellent teacher, who fostered a love of English in me and who was caring and supportive. Ongoing first impressions can be false.

However we all make snap decisions which we often find later to be false. We do this based on current experiences, knowledge and our own feelings at that time. And we are sometimes correct in our first reaction, for example at interviews or when buying a house, do you like it or not and why? And who has read an email, a letter or a text message and found the tone to be abrupt or rude, when in person, we might have been left with a quite different impression? Perhaps the same words, but with tone and inflection, can seem so different. We all do this in our lives and also with the church too, make quick judgments and form subsequent opinions. A warm welcome to a church can make the experience positive and warm - and can stay with the visitor for many a year. Equally, so can a frosty greeting, a request to take on a duty, or a cold damp environment where no-one speaks, send the visitor away questions why they actually came at all.

So today, let's see if we can go beyond the initial first impressions, listen to individuals, plan how we can make our churches more receptive places - when they are open again. Find out why and what made us form that initial opinion. Would I ever have been frightened of my English teacher if I hadn't always left my apple in my bag?! Let us learn in our lives to be open and receiving of everything, and remember that our learning never stops!

Don't forget the quiz tonight and check your answers from last week!