If we are in need we might well ring 999 and ask for whatever emergency service we require. I know when we had the fire at the Rectory about 14 months ago we weren't the first to raise the alarm, but two cars of people stopped - one to get us out of the house (the fire was outside), and another to say they would stay until the fire brigade arrived. Help did come in the form of the Brigade and offers of a bed to sleep in, somewhere quiet where we could relax, help to clean up, and so on were offered. Everyone from the community was so helpful and we will always be so thankful for their efforts.
So we can turn to agencies for help or our community might come up trumps, but what about when the issue we need help with isn't so clear - abuse or relationship problems. These are so often hidden from the sight of many, but unless the people involved shout 'Help'. It is down to trained individuals and organisations to "see" the possible signs. This is one reason why safeguarding is so important, both for children and vulnerable adults. There are times when we could all be vulnerable for some reason or other. People do not tend to ask for help until well on the journey, or maybe never. I worked once with a young child who watched tv nightly with Mummy as she wasn't well and Dad was away in the week. The 7 year old was subjected to a stream of pornographic videos and the Mum was oblivious to her behaviour, as to them as a family it was normal! It only came to a head when the young child started to play up about attending school being afraid his mum would die, if he weren't there to protect her!
The media is still all awash over the Meghan and Harry saga and whatever you feel about the situation, the question has been raised as to whether it is right to shout for help in such a public manner. Should we not air our dirty laundry in public? Is that the way to start resolving issues? Of course anyone who is in need should speak to the relevant person, but to broadcast things doesn't really resolve anything, but then does it start the process off? Obviously Harry and Meghan needed to shout out for help and did so in a way that many have and will criticise. The way in which they handled the situation may affect them and their family for a long time to come, but was it necessary?
I was shocked to learn from Becky recently that these days young women at university are told to carry a rape alarm when they are out, especially at night time. However, what was really shocking, was that Becky's cohort were told if they were attacked not to shout out "rape"to try and attract attention and help, but instead to shout "fire". Statistically, it had been proven at the time, that women shouting "fire"were far more likely to attract help from the public. It seems so concerning that a victim is encouraged to lie and not tell the truth when in desperate need of help. What is this saying about our society's attitude to need or those who ask for it? It seemed to Becky and her cohort that you only should ask for help if it isn't an embarrassing situation for society. As a parent isn't this the opposite of how we feel for our children and as a society isn't it the opposite of what we hope for our communities?
In our spiritual lives, where and what do we do when things get tough? Do we shout it from the rooftops or do we bury ourselves away from all life? Do we stop going to church or following online worship or drop out of social activities? Do we struggle on or do we talk to our priest, or Readers or close friends? We remember "a problem shared is a problem halved." Everyone has times when we need to shout help for something or another, often small issues which develop if left. But often people are embarrassed and try to struggle on. Certainly, when visiting, I find people who stopped coming to church years ago, stopped believing in God, often over small things which when left multiply and fester.
So today remember to ask for help if and when you need it. There is no shame, no awkwardness at all, and always time. Be open with God where you feel, in prayer, solitude or life in general. Take time to continue reading Scripture and other materials. Talk to others friends, confidentes, spiritual directors, clergy etc. But don't sit on issues, concerns, don't shut down - and as Christians we need to be alert for ourselves and others, as sometimes we may all need to say 'help'! Sometimes there will not be a clear answer, but that is not to say we don't respond to help and walk on by on the other side.
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